Dollars to Doughnuts

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Not sure how to react to the news that the Defense Logistics Agency’s subsistence shop is in the market for doughnuts – lots of doughnuts – for the Navy. Never thought a chocolate-frosted, cream-filled confection could properly be labeled a “subsistence” item like it is on the contract solicitation.

Or that the Navy would be buying them, following this recent story in the independent Navy Times newspaper about tubby shipmates: “Almost 13,000 sailors could be just a jelly doughnut away from getting kicked out of the Navy.” Fried puffs of rich cake are not a health-food staple.

Fact is, the Navy wants DLA wants to buy it 678 dozen raspberry-filled donuts, as the government spells it. Not to mention 1,172 dozen glazed, 652 dozen lemon-filled, 686 dozen fudge-glazed, and 746 dozen cream-filled delights. Plus several other varieties, including 516 dozen of the plain version (that’s the smallest quantity being bought, perhaps for all those chiefs trying to pass their fitness tests). Bids are due by 3 p.m. Thursday, Jan. 24, with deliveries slated to begin Feb. 10.

The doughnuts will be delivered by the winning bidder(s) starting Feb. 13 to several Florida locations:


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Note the resemblance…

DLA TROOP SUPPORT intends to support the needs of its customers by entering into one (1) Indefinite Delivery Purchase Order (IDPO) per region to supply Fresh Donut Items to the customers stated below. This solicitation contains the estimated donut requirements for customers in Mayport/Jacksonville, Florida: Troop Issue, Naval Station Mayport Oasis Galley, NAS Jacksonville Galley, Florida Air National Guard, Fleet Support (Ships) at Mayport, NOAA Ships, USCG Visiting Cutters, USCG Sector Jacksonville, Florida.

“Fresh Donut Items”?

“Estimated donut requirements”? (This is how the Pentagon is supposed to define “requirements.”)

The contract doesn’t specify who’s actually going to be devouring the donuts. No one’s going to deny them to our in-shape sailors. But could we be footing the bill for civilians’ donuts? We’ve asked the DLA.

“This solicitation is for a one-year Indefinite Delivery Purchase Order (IDPO) for the acquisition of donut items, not to exceed 12 months or $150,000.00, whichever occurs first,” the solicitation says.

Whichever occurs first?

No wonder they’re eating so much – they want to chow down before the money runs out.