A Woman S(CO)rned by an Officer and a Gentleman

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There’s a fascinating letter in the latest issue of the Naval War College Review from a woman who alleges she was treated abominably by an unnamed, still-serving commanding officer in the U.S. Navy. This is an official publication of the U.S. Navy, so it’s a safe bet it has been vetted and found to be true:

Recently, I was formally engaged to a commanding officer as part of a three year relationship that included his entire command at sea. I relocated to Guam because he repeatedly asked me to, against my objections. He told me he had orders to go there after his command. A few days after I arrived on island to begin my new job and on the night before his Change of Command ceremony, he e-mailed me that he was in love with someone else and cut off all contact. He, of course, did not ever go to Guam…

I was badly shattered and very confused. Nonetheless, I understood that a man entrusted with national security matters had not suffered from a momentary lapse of judgement or a minor lapse in character and courage. He had led a fundamentally dishonest and secretive life every day for at least three years. I quickly informed his chain of command and the DOD Inspector General about his tawdry behavior. I received only one response. “In your now mixed experience with the Navy, I want to assure you that your efforts on behalf of the crew and families of BOATNAME are much appreciated. I’m grateful for your contribution.”

I had interrupted my twenty year career as a research scientist to find myself abruptly isolated, thousands of miles from anyone I had ever known, and without any of my possessions only because a commanding officer in the U.S. Navy was so cowardly that it strains credulity….There is a solid argument that a fine warrior is not purely a paragon of virtue because other qualities are essential. For lack of a better word, the “sinister” could be exactly what is required. My understanding of my former fiancé suggests that a “yin/yang” dynamic is inked into his nature. I acknowledge that he is likely quite good at commanding a boat even if I do not think much of him as a man.

Full stomach-turning thing here.

h/t Best Defense


Dear Dr., you're an adult, own you're poor judgement and get over it. Perhaps you should have married him before moving to Guam.


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