General Jack Benny

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DOD photo / D. Myles Cullen.

General Martin Dempsey, commanding comedian

Usually it’s a priest, a rabbi and a minister who launch a joke. But when Army General Marty Dempsey, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, spoke to the Air Force Association Wednesday, he opened up with an airman, a sailor and a soldier instead. It seems all had died suddenly, and St. Peter asked each of them what he wanted his mourners to think as they passed by his casket.

Sailor: “I’d like them to think, `Wow, what a sailor; what a master and commander, the master of the seven seas.’”

Airman: “I was an ace. I had the best, shiniest, most colorful scarf in the inventory. Women crooned when I walked into the officers’ club, and I was a scratch golfer.”

Soldier: “I’d like them to look into the casket and say, `Look, he’s moving!’”

Not sure if the chairman means to suggest that the Navy and Air Force are moribund…