Battleland

Girth of a Nation

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North Korean television

And you thought Dukakis looked bad in a tank...

North Korean television has released a 50-minute video honoring the Sunday birthday of Kim Jong Un, the country’s new leader. U.S. intelligence analysts are poring over it, looking for clues into what new direction, if any, the new leader will take his nation. (They’re also trying to figure out if he were born in 1983 or 1984, which would make him 29…or 28.)

U.S. officials are deriding the staged shots showing him glad-handing his troops amid clips of him inside a tank, a cockpit and astride a horse. What’s amazing is just how rotund he is compared to the NoKo troops surrounding him (yet another four-star who can’t pass his physical). This highlight reel ends with him enjoying a visit to what appears to be his own amusement park. Just another nuclear-armed Michael Jackson.

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