We don’t dip our toes into domestic politics too much here on Battleland — that’s why TIME has Swampland. But sometimes we just can’t resist. In Thursday night’s debate, a questioner asked Texas Governor Rick Perry what he would do if he got a 3 a.m. phone call saying Pakistan’s nukes had fallen into the hands of the Taliban. His answer, in toto:
Well, obviously before you ever get to that point, you have to build a relationship in that region. That’s one of the things that this administration has not done. Just yesterday, we found out through Admiral Mullen that Haqqani has been involved with, and that’s a terrorist group, directly associated with the Pakistani country. To have a relationship with India, to make sure that India knows that they are an ally of the United States. For instance, when we had the opportunity to sell India the upgraded F-16s, we chose not to do that. We did the same thing with Taiwan. The point is, our allies need to understand clearly that we are their friends, we will be standing by there with them. Today, we don’t have those allies in that region that can assist us if that situation that you talked about were to become a reality.
This guy flew planes for the Air Force? He wants to be President? His baffling, incomprehensible non-answer is akin to what Winston Churchill said of Russia: it’s a riddle in a mystery inside an enigma. Apparently, the only way to keep Pakistan’s nukes out of Taliban hands is to sell them upgraded Texas-built F-16 jet fighters. Alas — Pakistan already has Texas-built F-16 fighters, and they’ve been upgraded — see here, here, here, and here. Or just check out the weaporn video above.